My First Naruto story
by Magicians of the Yami
Summary: i put in the story... i wrote it long time ago, but this story in mainly about some ppl i added in Naruto....kinda random.... but please, not flames!
1. Chapter 1

Hey people! This is Joan again!! Well, now I really like the Naruto comic books, so I decided to put this as my first story. BUT I have made some people up so yea....  
  
Kimo and Goldie, they really exist, but I changed their names. Stancy and Kokoro and Ioanne are also real people, with their names changed, and the three other dogs are all real also, so do not try taking them from me!  
  
I do not own Naruto! TT  
  
Chapter 1--How it all began  
  
On a warm, sunny day, somewhere in the Hidden Leaf Village, Iruka-Sensi happily scribbled down the last notes. At last there is some people that past this test! He had started to think that no one will be able to pass with out being driven mad!  
  
"This is it! I guessed that this is the group of four that can actually graduate from this course," Iruka-sensi smiled. He packaged his stuff, and he left for his house, happy because he taught four successful students that can help the hidden leaf. "You five, will you all go to the Hokage right now? I will notify the teacher's students that will choose one of you each to join their team."  
  
At the other area, team7, 8, 10, and Gai-sensei's team waited for their teacher. Because of a really important announcement, they cannot sneak off. This is highly unusual, and that is the reason why that some people from the teams thought it was best to come to the meeting area, but for others, this is a time to complain as much as they want to with the other students.  
  
"WHAT IS TAKING THEM SO LONG!!!!" hollered Naruto. "IF IT IS ONLY KAKAHSI, THEN I WILL NOT SAY ANYTHING, BUT GAI AND THE OTHER TEACHERS WILL NEVER BE LATE!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"Naruto! SHUT UP!" screamed Sakura, who is every bit as irritated as the kyuubi blonde. Hinata watched the scene progress, How Ino was bugging Sasuke about her new hair style. Shikamaru sighed again, complaining that this is so troublesome, and sat with Kiba and Akamaru. Lee, was taking Sakura's side of the argument, Ten-ten thought it was best to leave Neji alone, while he meditated.  
  
POOF! After 4 hours, Kakashi appeared with a thin layer of smoke, along with the other teachers. "Yo!" Kakashi waved to his team..... and the usual happened. "YOU'RE LATE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!" "But I was talking to Iruka-Sensi and the Hokage, and later, a little girl asked me for my signature, Gai was over sleeping so I went to wake him up...."  
  
-----------------------------10 minutes later...----------------------------------------------------  
  
"So that is why we are late!"  
  
"LAIER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" this time, not only Sakura and Naruto yelled at their teacher. Even Sasuke and Neji yelled, which is really unlikely, but hey, this is fan fiction, right?  
  
"Hush! This is why we are really late....." Kiba's teacher explained...........  
  
"Really!? So we get new team mates?? AND they need to come with us to our next mission, or assignment?? WOW!" Naruto jumped around with joy. "here is the list with the names on them. It reads:  
  
Kimo & Goldie  
  
Stancy & Rasco  
  
Kokoro & Kirby  
  
Ioanne & Yoshi"  
  
Kakashi read the paper to the waiting Ninja's.  
  
"What? Only one boy?" asked Sasuke, started into speech. "NO!!!!!!!!!! MORE COMPOTITION FOR SASUKE!!" wailed Sakura and Ino. The other people just started at the people in front of them and signed. Why am I with the ones to be stuck with those people?? I must have done something horrible in my past life to deserve this treatment....That would be Neji, thinking his own thoughts. "What are you all waiting for then? Let us go to the Hokage and pick up the people that will join us in our teams!"  
  
-----------------------------------------At the Hokage's area-------------------------------------  
  
"OK, will the teams stand behind their teachers and with their team mates? I will let the other kids in, all in due time." The old Hokage waved a hand around the room.  
  
"Come on, old lady! Get on with it! I really want to meet them!" Naruto got a smack in the head from Sakura, while Ino and her teammates laughed their heads off. With a sigh, the Hokage tossed the documents to the teachers, and the kids just tried to get a peek at the scrolls.  
  
"Kimo, you and your friends can come in right now, the people will not bite!" the Hokage then said, and before the team's eyes, 4 figures appeared from puffs of smoke. Akamaru barked to the other dog, Goldie, who barked back in return.  
  
"Will you introduce your self to the others? I know that you hate this, but this is the only chance that they will really know you before they decide on one person to join their team on, so start with Kokoro."  
  
A girl who had a headband tied on her head and armbands stood on front of the others. "My name is Kokoro, I am 14 like the others, ( I made Neji's group 14 like the other people, because that will make more sense then the others... sorri!;;) I love to sing, and my weapon is using my explosive curse seals, or my hidden scrolls."  
  
"I can use a kendo sword very well, and I can yell as loud as anything you can hear! And oh, yeah, this is Kirby." She smiled happily at the teams, and backed off. Kirby barked a few times, as Akamaru responded.  
  
"I am Stancy. I can use a bow, I like to dance," Stancy nodded. The bandanna on her head was pretty noticeable. "I like to check up new attacks, and write them down. Usually it is to threaten Ioanne to stay out of my stuff, and I am usually the one who writes out the battle plans with Kimo and Goldie." A pause, then she added as an after thought. "If you piss me off, I will find out a way to kill you all in due time...or send Rasco on you, and believe me, which would be painful."  
  
"Nice to meet you all! I am Ioanne, I like to write, draw, read new attacks, and I can use long weapons. I have a younger brother and a older sister, and she is best friends with Stancy's older sister." She pointed at the small metal fan and a huru. (it was a container thing....the one Gaara carries on his back. Sorry! That is what my mom calls them, so that is how I type them...) "I can also use poison, and also a fan to create wind. This is Yoshi." The dog barked.  
  
"I am Kimo, this is Goldie. I am the team leader, you can say that, but usually Stancy is the one commanding the team." He glared at Stancy. "Ioanne poses as a scout, because Stancy has a demon sealed in her, Connie, so she is the main battler. Kokoro is what you call a sword dancer and singer. She is the best spy. There is more, but that is about it for now."  
  
That is all. After all that, there was silence. "Now you know the people that is over there a little more, so you need to choose one to become your teammate. After that, we will get the cabins ready for all of you." Kakashi smiled with his only showing eye.  
  
Kiba, Hinata, and Shino bend together. "I think we should get Kimo! He has a dog like Akamaru!" Kiba yelled. Shino coughed. So does all the other people standing before you right now, he thought. "I think we will get Stancy. Our attacks work well together, and if we have a book person, she can help us more! She can help Hinata with the scouting. Well, what do you think?" Hinata nodded, and then three went off to the Hokage.  
  
Ino, Shikamaru, and Cho- what ever you want to call him.... They decided on Kokoro, because the attack will help, and Ino really liked the idea of a spy. "She can sing also!!!!!" Ino squealed. "So trouble some.... More girls in our group...." Shikamaru got a whack on the head for the last comment.  
  
Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura decided on Kimo, so he can be their leader. Sakura had said, "He is so COOL!" Sasuke and Naruto both would yell at each other if the other is the team captain, Sakura herself is too weak to be the captain, so Kimo and Goldie would be their team captain.  
  
The Neji's group chose Ioanne; she can back up Ten-ten's weapon's attack. "We can stick to the weapon's first, then Lee can charge in. Ioanne can be used as a distraction at times, because of her long ranged weapons." They nodded, and ran to the Hokage.  
  
"Hi! I am Stancy, as you can see that. I hope I will not bring your down...." She smiled. "The shy one there is Hinata, the Main family of the Hyuuga. I am Kiba, the other is Shino." Kiba shook hands with Stancy. "This is Akamaru," he pointed at the puppy on his head.  
  
"OH! Rasco, meet your new team mate!" she gave Akamaru one of Rasco's treat. Akamaru barked, and ate the treat in one gulp. "We should start our packing," Kiba said. Rasco barked at Akamaru, and the dogs sniffed noses, and nuzzled each other on the head, and trotted off with their owners.  
  
"Nice to meet you! And thank you for choosing me for your team!" Ioanne said happily, as she patted Yoshi. "Nice to meet you too, Ioanne!" Ten-ten said. "Neji there is not much of a speaker, and Lee is not a person you would want to talk to, though he has skill. He is Gai-Sensei's favorite student!" Ioanne blinked. "What, the dude with the mushroom cut... or the watermelon skin hair?" she asked.  
  
"The one and only. Ioanne! Come here! I will help you with that...." Ten-ten helped the girl pack her baggage that she will bring .They were in the Branch part of the Hyuuga house hold. Neji had let them in, and Ten-ten helped the girl with her packages and her bags.  
  
"We are gonna sleep over there, so be ready. The teachers might make us train there also, with no exceptions," Ioanne grinned. "So there will be some survival exercises??" she asked happily as Ten-ten nodded. "Yes, I guess so."  
  
"Well, if it is team work, then I think our team will win! I know Kimo and Goldie's weakness, Stancy's and Rasco's, and also Kokoro's and Kirby's. You all should also know the other people's weakness! For you and them are the same year."  
  
Neji was working out a new strategies as the girls talked. "I can scope out the enemies. Ten-ten can get them on defensive, you can go and try to beat them up, and Ioanne can also help ten-ten, or she can help me. I think that will be about it," Neji wrote the battle tactics down. "LEE ARE YOU LISIONING TO ME!?"  
  
"Sasuke and I will be the real group attacking, it that be the case. Goldie, Naruto, and Sakura will be the decoy of the team. Now, I think we should head out to the camp area, and beat the other teams to the place. We would know more about the area we will fight in then. Sasuke, if I am the captain, then you are the co-captain. So, where-ever I go, you go, at least, for the meetings." Naruto stuffed some cup noodles in his pack.  
  
"How come I am not the co-captain, but Sasuke is!?" he wined. Sasuke and Kimo was drawing tactics, like Neji and the others. Sakura went early, to get a camp spot. "Because we do not have time to argue over those. Pack."  
  
"I am Kokoro, and this is Kirby! He may look innocent, but in truth, he is not...." She stopped short when Shikamaru went to sleep. "Don't mind him!" Ino said happily, as she kicked Shikamaru in the face, waking him up with a yelp. "Anyways... should we pack??"  
  
The day was pleasantly spent, for the teachers. Gai was boasting about his students, and Kakashi was reading his book, until Gai hit a nerve, and Kakashi muttered that his students would do better with their new team mate. So, the fight is on.  
  
"Look, Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, and Kimo with his Dog would beat Neji, Lee, Ten-ten and Ioanne with HER dog. We could even see about Shikamaru, Cho(what do you spell his name??) Ino, and Stancy, Kiba, Akamaru, Hinata, Shino, and Kokoro," The teacher for team 7 said. "How about their skills, we take a look. We can get them to fight as a team! Or we do survival exercises."  
  
Because this concerns beating Kakashi, Gai agreed, and took a green ribbon for each student to tie on their arms or feet. If the ribbon is taken from them, then they are out. "Now, we wait for them to come." Kakashi went back to reading his book.  
  
-------------------------------------------------30 min. later...------------------------------------  
  
"Hello, my beloved students!" Gai Yelled. "We will beat Kakashi this time!" Neji, Lee, Ten-ten, and Ioanne dropped their bags. "YES!" Lee was happily bouncing up and down, while the other three decided to give their team mate and their teacher some Father-son time. "Is that dude always like that?" asked Ioanne, peering back at the too mushroom cut people. Yoshi barked. "Yeah, and he can get worse," Ten-ten muttered.  
  
Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, Kimo and Goldie arrived after them. Kakashi appeared behind them with a "Yo team!" while Naruto and Sakura stood shocked that their teacher is not late. "I want you all to try your best for this exercise. Gai has been very trying, and I hope you all can beat his team with your skills." Kakashi said all this while reading that book.  
  
Hinata, Kiba, Akamaru, Shino, and Stancy appear after them. Because their teacher is not here, Kakashi went to explain to them what will happen later on. Stancy gave a crazy-looking grin, and looked at Rasco, both ready for action. (Gai was busy with the waterfall of tears and the courage talk with Lee) and when Shikamaru, Ino, Kokoro, and Cho(what do you spell it really,) came, he did the talking for that also.  
  
"Now, Start!" Gai yelled again. The 4 teams ran off in different directions. "Shikamaru, can you think of something quick?" asked Kokoro. "If I know Stancy, Ioanne, and Kimo, they will take out the people that is not moving or moving with a plan first, because it would be a lot easier. Shikamaru muttered a "how troublesome," and got to work. Ino was look-out.  
  
"Hinata, what do you see?" Kiba asked. Stancy and Shino was writing down their plan. "MY idea would be better! LISON to ME! I am the smart one here, so shut up right this instant!!!" They could hear Stancy yell at poor Shino. Akamaru was sniffing around for smells that might interest him. "I see Neji using the same move with Ioanne. Their backs are turned to us though." She turned her eyes back to normal.  
  
"Well, we better get going, if we want to live. I do not want fight Cousin Neji anytime soon," Stancy appeared with the plan and Shino, who sent the bugs out to scout. Rasco barked with Akamaru a few times. "Rasco, scout with the buggies that's sent by this dude," Stancy commanded.  
  
"Sasuke, can you see anything to copy?" asked Kimo, bent over their battle plan. "Nope," the eyes turned back to normal. "Naruto, stop complaining, it is hard enough as it is, and Sakura, you should stop feeding Goldie, he would get fat." Goldie barked sheepishly, Sakura WAS feeding him too much.  
  
"Hey Ten-ten, can you make it rain weapons later?" asked Ioanne, ready for battle. She had freaked out Neji and Ten-ten with her eyes, both he copy eye and the white eye.  
  
Now, Neji had told them to stay there, and him and lee would lure the enemy to their trap. "Sure! But you would have to use your Glaive also!" "deal," Ioanne promised. Yoshi barked, signaling the enemies were near.  
  
"YEAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ino, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! IT IS PEOPLE WE CANNOT BEAT!" Cho( --;;) screamed. Kokoro and Shikamaru prepared to have battle, but they were backing up slowly.  
  
Their opponents was Neji's team, and they saw how much damage that was done by them before, and have no death wish yet to get out of the game this earily. "Ten-ten, NOW!" Lee yelled as he threw himself to battle Shikamaru. Ino was dodging the weapons while Ioanne was in open battle with Kokoro.  
  
"Hey Kokoro, you know that I know a birdie called Kokoro? She tweets like you, only when she is angry though!" Ioanne said. "People who do not know you keep telling people that you are a quiet little angle. I know more then them!" Kokoro grumbled.  
  
"But with me and Stancy, you are quite noisy, and that is annoying," "But if I am noisy with them, they will make me run laps around the village!" Ioanne countered. The girls chatted at they fought quickly. "Kokoro! Look! It is Water bottle!" Ioanne teased. (Water Bottle was Kokoro's other friend's name. he moved away a long time ago) "WHAT!?" Kokoro spun around, and Ioanne use the opportunity to snag her thread of ribbon off her arm. "Hey! Not fair!" Kokoro complained. Kirby and Yoshi barked a few times.  
  
Ioanne looked at Ten-ten, who took Ino's ribbon with a weapon. Neji had already took Cho(--;;)'s weapon, and Shikamaru was on the floor, playing dead and forgotten, because Lee took his ribbon a while ago. With Neji's nod, they ran for their next victim.  
  
Stancy sighed. Goldie was biting at her arm, and Naruto was trying to get her ribbon. Sasuke was fighting Shino, who fought with Rasco after he ate the silver pill Stancy herself made with her books. Hinata found Sakura and fought her. Kimo now ordered Goldie off her arm, and fought with Kiba.  
  
"Let's see whose dog wins then," suggested Kimo, seeing that Kiba was tired already from blocking two of his attacks. Kiba nodded. "Akamaru!" he threw a red pill at Akamaru, and Akamaru turned red. (that's where he got his name). "Goldie!" Kimo threw a golden pill at his dog, who ate it as well. You may see no difference, but the dog glowed golden softly, (sorta like the super syain) "Use your fangs and attack!" Yelled Kimo.  
  
While that was happening, Hinata handed over her green ribbon, because she thought that Sakura was a lot better then her, and did not want to fight anymore, Sasuke had beaten Shino to his green thread when he dropped by accident.  
  
Naruto was punched in the nose by Stancy. Clearly, Naruto used the Clone of him and got the ribbon. Rasco barked. Stancy flipped Kimo's hat off. "Ill kill you next time," she said. Kimo glared at her, and put his cap back on.  
  
"NOW!" Ten-ten threw weapons all over the area, and alerted the two fighting teams. Goldie managed to get Akamaru down, so Kiba had surrendered to Kimo. Lee ran to Sasuke, Neji to Naruto again, and Ten-ten to Sakura. "Goldie!" The Golden pill again, but Ioanne opened her powder sack and threw it at the pill. The pill had no affect.  
  
You like it? Hate it? Well... tell me! 


	2. Chapter 2

Hey! I updated!!!! Keep in mind that I redid this whole thing, because I hav to try and get some more people in. (This would be the shortest chapter you would read from me, but things have to be said.... I need to get a few things straight.) Well, first things to say..... I do not own Naruto, and I would like to thank the two reviews I got.

jinky-kurapica : Hey!! Thank you! I am happy some ppl enjoy my first Naruto story! If u can think u pa tital I can use, pleaz tell me!!! And sure, I will try mi best to put the jinky missing-nin in the story! About the jutsus part...... I do not kno..... I read the Chinese version of Naruto, and I do not kno..... ;; about the plot, I hav no idea.... I finished this story already, but I decided to change the ending....so it works better. Thanz for reviewing!

Iluvsasuke : I am really happy you like it as well! And if you can, help me think up a tital as well? Thank you for reviewing!!!

KuroiItami : I will post your review here for all to see. I love reviews, but if you want to tell me something, I would love it if you can put it in a nicer way. "Wow, just...wow. I have never seen a fanfic with so many Mary Sues before. I congratulate you for writing a fanfic that contains the MOST Mary Sues I've ever seen. Let's move onto your story now, shall we?  
  
First, let's see why I see this fanfic so horribly...wrong. Let me ask you, you do know how people graduate from the academy, correct? Those who are aiming to become ninjas graduate from this academy not only by written tests, but by their talents they learned during their lessons. Here, eight (eight freaking Mary Sues! My dear lord, the world's coming to an end...) people randomly get selected to become ninjas by passing one freaking test. Let's see here, what I remember correctly in episode one of Naruto (AND chapter one of the Naruto manga) students graduate from the academy by being tested on their ninja skills (like the Bushin no Jutsu, in which was Naruto's worst skill). Also, the WHOLE CLASS tend to graduate from the academy, unless they fail to do the skills the teacher has assigned them to do (one reason why Iruka SENSEI (please, for the love of the Japanese language, if you want to use the language THAT badly, AT LEAST spell them correctly; you are SERIOUSLY insulting the Japanese language by continually misspelling ONE simple Japanese word) wanted to fail Naruto). I highly doubt Iruka would only pass eight (out of 27, I do believe) students in his whole class. This only shows that these eight students are major Mary Sues that have come to destroy the already infested Naruto fandom (would it ever be pure again? sighs sadly)  
  
Since we're still talking about the BASIC facts of the Naruto world, let's discuss another aspect that is just totally incorrect in your fanfic. If you TRULY read the Naruto manga, you WOULD know that only 33.3...% (basically, a third of the students in the class) would become Genins. So if the class had 27 students, only nine of those students would become Genins, while the rest are forced to take another year at the academy. That also means that there would be ONLY three teams that consist of ONLY three students in each team. Here, only eight students pass, which throws Kishimoto-sensei's calculations out the window. Also, another aspect in which you totally ignored is that these Genin teams would remain a three person team, and ONLY three students are allowed in each team. Teachers WILL NOT random stick new students in these teams.  
  
Now, let's move onto what's wrong with the content of your fanfic. Your whole chapter is completely...choppy. There are grammar errors EVERYWHERE, and that literally makes me wince. I can't even read the first two paragraphs of your story without sitting there trying to decipher what in the world you're trying to say. If you really want to make your fanfic legible, can you at least get it beta'd before you post it? You'll be doing the readers a HUGE favor if you do so. (Actually, taking this fanfic down is the BEST favor any readers can ever appreciate...I'm serious). Not only are there grammar errors, but spelling errors also; you can't even spell liar correctly (and you're trying to use the Japanese language? What kind of author are you?) At least perfect your English language first before using another language! I know Japanese, Chinese, Korean, hell, almost all of Asia speakers that have better English than you. Maybe you should retake your English class first before you continue writing, now isn't that a great idea?  
  
Oh boy, your fanfic has my Mary Sue radar blaring red at me like crazy. I understand some authors want to put in OCs in their fanfic, but doing so can result into writing a fanfic FULL of Mary Sues running around contaminating the anime characters, or to put in short, your fanfic. Yes, your story is the perfect example of a Mary Sue fanfic. And seriously, your Mary Sues are making me gag. Once again, I MUST congratulate you for writing one of the most HORRIBLE Mary Sues I've ever read and literally making me want to puke. For one thing, who would have a demon named Connie (What. The. Fuck? I'm sorry, that is the WORST I've ever seen). Another thing, how can a singer and dancer be a freaking spy? Aren't singers and dancers usually pretty...open? Spies are the masters of stealth, and MUST be hidden when they are doing their job, so wouldn't it be difficult for a singer and dancer to be a spy? Yes yes, this is YOUR character, and YOUR story, so you can do whatever you want, right? Please, that is being BEYOND childish, so before you continue writing, grow up, ok? To have a character that can perfect talents that are total opposites has the words Mary Sue written all over it, and it sickens me to no end. So before I run to the bathroom and empty out my stomach, I must make one more comment; for the sake of Kishimoto-sensei and the Naruto fandom, take this freaking fanfic down. I do believe other readers do not want to have the same fate as me when they are reading this story."

Thank you for flaming me!! You are the first person that flamed me in this whole thing!! Good job! claps but I am sorry, if you do not like this story, then please do not read it, and put the rude remark. This is my story, as you said so your self, and even if I cannot spell things right, please respect it. I would love it if you can write a story for me to criticize all day.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

this is where the story starts again.

"Darn! I forgot about that!" Kimo cursed. "HIYYAH!" Ioanne opened her fan with grace and flicked sleeping powder with needles out of the fan. Yoshi charged into the fight. "THERE we go!!" Ioanne ran to attack Goldie. "Goldie, get the pill on the floor!" yelled Kimo as he ran out of range of the powder, and prepared for the next attack.

Neji beat Naruto to his ribbon when he dropped it, and Sakura's two ribbons were taken by Ten-ten because of her weapon's attack. Lee was still battling Sasuke. Kiba's and Ino's team stood side by die, watching the battle.

"I am cheering for Kimo AND Ioanne, then!" Declared Kiba. "Ioanne has good taste in dogs, and Kimo's dog has good taste in friends!!" Akamaru barked agreement. Ioanne threw a well aimed needle with sleeping powder coated all over the needle at Kimo, and it hit bull's eye. (Sorry, I took a whole chunk of fighting scene out....)

"Guess I won," Ioanne muttered. Yoshi took the ribbon, as Goldie barked. "Yeah, I know, I am not fighting fair, so don't you start with me now, Stancy." Ioanne said before Stancy or Kokoro opened their mouths. "Jeez...." Stancy opened her bag of herbs she found, and sprinkled it all over the area to wake Kimo up, and to clean up the mess they have made.

They heard clapping, and turned around to face the Hokage.

I told you this would be short.... Please PUT A COMMENT!!! sorry, but I hope you review!


	3. READ! IMPORTANT!

I am really sorry, but I am not the best writer around this area, and perhaps I may be the worst writer here on ! But it is ok, because I know I am already, so there is no point of you telling me that. If you do not like my story, then please do not read it.

Thank you SacredGoggles, for you two reviews, but I rather not use your character. (Thanks for the offer!) Also, I do not think I need to use other languages! I can use English, right? I know, about the chat speech, it is not really good to use, and I would try my best to stop using them. I also know my story is really bad, as you say, because this is my first try at Naruto, and about the Hokage clapping part, but sorry! I really need to use it for later on, and she can be on a break from her work, can she?

Got-lotr : thankz for the review, Connie!

Ilovesasuke : thankz!!! ;; I feel the same way!

KuroiItamii : really sorry for not taking it off, but I would like to try again. However, please tell me what a mary-sue is. I cannot make it better, or the way you want me to, if I do not know what a mary-sue is!!!!! I am actually trying hard, and taking everything you say really seriously, though it may not seam like it when I wrote a response to you earlier. Thanks for the 2nd review that you wrote me, and I know that you would start with the language pretty soon, so I better write this for you first; my computer crashed continues of times whenever I try to use spell check. It has a virus in it. I DO NOT know any Japanese, I hope you have noticed, and the names Kimo, Ioanne are actually Hawaiian. I got them straight out of the book I checked out from the library. Kokoro is my friend's name, and she is Japanese. Yes, I might have spelt it wrong, because I never really read it written, she goes by the name Koko. Stancy is Connie's 'yami'. You might not know because it is sort of from Yu-Gi-Oh! That some people have other people living in your body. (Something like inner Sakura) and I just changed at around a bit. The four dogs that showed up are real dog's names, my cousins own them, and one of them is Connie's dog. So I don't see the use to change the names. Also, thank you for your time to write all these reviews. I would try my best.

kage-no-koi : thank you for your review. Yes, I know that this story is really bad and all, so I would change it pretty soon. My characters are NOT perfect. I just have not written that they are near death or something, but it would be coming.

Guardian of Faith : thank you, but please do not yell at nibbler100. If you want to yell at anyone, I guess it should be me. If you have been reading, I have not yet come up with a title I think would work for this story yet, so I cannot change it just yet, but I would change it soon enough.

Nibbler100 : Thank you for standing up for me!

Ok. I finished writing the notes for the reviewers. I am sorry, Jinky! I WILL use your character, but I would use it in my other story I would be working on!!

Ok. I decided that I should pause this story, so I can spare the people from my writing skills, and I would work on a new one, with similar characters, and plot. (I do not think I should delete this one because this is a good time for me to look over this stuff.) Thank you for all your comments!!

Joan


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